Thursday, December 29, 2011

Technical Support And A Customer

I worked in technical support at Silicon Graphics about a year ago, and I was part of the group that was first in line to handle problem calls. Oh, joy. Being only eighteen at the time, my experience in the field of technical support was somewhat limited, but I could still handle my own.
Now, as you may or may not know, SGI sells top of the line computers used in many different industries. On average, they're about three times as expensive as personal PCs and are meant to be used by professionals in the industries they're used in.

Anyway, the following call came in:
Customer: "I just received an Onyx yesterday, and I tried to set it up today and it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "It just doesn't boot up?"
Customer: "It doesn't even turn on. I see nothing on the screen, and the fan doesn't even turn on in the back of the system."
Tech Support: "Is the monitor functioning? Is there a little green light in the lower right corner of the monitor?"
Customer: "Yes, there is."
Tech Support: "Ok, is the computer plugged in?"
Customer: (irritated) "Look, I think I know how to set up a system. I'm a college graduate, you know."
Tech Support: "Ok, let me finish typing up this report, and I'll send it off. You will get a reply within one business day."
Customer: (exasperated) "Thank you. Geez, I mean I paid a huge amount of money for this computer. The least you people can do it make sure it works before sending it to me!"
Customer: "I mean, to add to the poor quality control, you even sent me one extra power cord."
Tech Support: "One extra cord?"
Customer: "Yes, it looks just the one I used to plug in the monitor and computer, but that's all you sent to me. I have no use for this other one."
At this point, I thought I should inquire a little more...but use a bit of tact to do so.
Tech Support: "Sir, can you double check the serial number on the back of your computer?"
Customer: "On the back of the computer?"
Tech Support: "Yes, sir."
Customer: (sigh) "All right, all right, hold on..."
I heard a few muffled grunts as he crawled over his desk to see the back of the computer. He repeated the serial number from the sticker. I didn't bother to verify it.
Tech Support: "Thank you, sir. Oh, by the way, can you check to see if the computer is plugged in?"
Dead silence. I could just picture the man's face when he realized that the computer was never plugged in in the first place and that the "extra" power cord he was holding in his hand was for the computer. I didn't wait for a response from him. I thanked him for calling, hung up, and closed the case.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

First Job Funny

"A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot.

One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot.

They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars.

The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those as*!#!es at Home Depot ever deliver the fu*#'ng sheet rock..."

Thursday, December 22, 2011

4 Sons


These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.

"My son Kent," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."

The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "Norm's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift."

The third man's son, Greg, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.

As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in.

"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Chico's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."

Monday, December 19, 2011

A Funny Story Just For You

funny story

How many people realize this scenario: you are acquiring set up to depart the job site after a long day of back breaking does work and your reboots are absolutely awful in trade show displays. Do you just jump out in and tear off down the street or arrange you leave your boots in the bed and drive house in your socks? Or how approximately this one: You pull up to the soccer catch to pick up the kids and they aspect like they have been in a mud stomping challenger. Either way, your rug is approximately to accept a dangerous amazing! Or truss possibly not.

Welcome to the conceptions logo floor mats purchasing lead! We are going to present any solvents here to the above problems. Today, these floor mats will not resolve completely of your troubles. They will not abbreviate the grass for you and they absolutely can't block off your close from stealing your newspaper. What they are going to do is hold on your rug protected from completely of the dirt and stain that amasses on your shoes.

We have broken away this purchasing lead up into three divisions Carpeted, Rubber/Plastic, and Metal (Yes, metal floor mats up). Carpeted floor mats are, of course, covered up in exhibit booths rug. Rubber/Plastic floor mats are any sort of rubber or plastic stuff. A lot of these still offer big security and are generally lighter to clean. The floor mats are created of metal. They are a lot of the hardest on the commercialized and offer difficult good looks that are difficult to pass up.

Friday, December 16, 2011

The Interesting Story About Christmas

There's little more than a month to go before Christmas and while most people know Santa doesn't travel by airplane, try telling an aviation enthusiast that! If you've got a brother, sister, mum or dad that is mad about all things aviation, then maybe you should think about the following gifts this Christmas. Even if you don't follow the same interest as your gift-receiver, you should still find out what their favourite airplane is. Aviation has had some absolutely fascinating engineering conquests in its time, from the incredibly large modern A380 commercial Airbus to the legendary Spitfire - which played a crucial part in the Second World War.

You can easily get replica scaled-models of these planes from many outlets and toy shops that will sit well on any shelf. For a puzzle enthusiast you can also get an array of aircraft. Finally, for younger persons or children you could even get them an Airfix or Lego kit so they can have a go at building their own aircraft! The most common fancy tale that everyone tells, particularly to children, is about Santa Claus, also called St. Nicholas. But even if it were accepted that Santa Claus existed, where does he live and how is he able to get to all the houses of good boys and girls on Christmas Eve? In the United States, Santa Claus is said to have two homes. There is a home in Torrington, Connecticut, which is used as a distribution point for Santa and his many helpers, who are elves, to hand out gifts. And then, a second home is said to be located in Wilmington, New York, and that is where Santa Claus and his delivery reindeer crew are located.

A lot of what is widely regarded as true about Christmas or held as a tradition cannot or has not been verified, or, has changed through the years. Even Christmas Day itself, Dec. 25, has been questioned about whether that is the exact day on which Jesus was born. Skeptics have asked why would shepherds be out in the cold watching their flocks by night during the winter. Those skeptics have put forward the thought that Jesus may really have been born in the spring instead. It is therefore little wonder that there are many fancy stories and tales that are told about Christmas and the Christmas season. The tradition of Christmas tree as it exists today comes from Germany by way of immigrants. But it isn't clear how the tradition really gained a foothold in Germany. One story is that Christians in Germany during the 16th century started to bring trees that were decorated into their homes. Some of those Christians would build pyramids for Christmas. The pyramids were made of wood and would be decorated with evergreens and candles if wood was in short supply. If mere mortals got a chance to question Santa, then he also would likely have some questions for us humans. He may want to know whose idea was it to have Christmas trees and for the gifts to be placed under them.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Humorous Stories In Our Life

Recently, while at an online community for women, I read an article that is part of series which makes me laugh very heartily; the interviews Santa's wife. Normally, when we are thinking of Santa's wife, Here we see a hard working, fierce, dare I even say, feminist Mrs. Claus come out of her shell. This is an excellent piece of humor for women that will make you laugh very heartily and have their husbands intrigued by the fierce wife of Santa. She openly puts down Santa when it comes to their work life: Santa is not as hard working as one would thinks it seems. What makes this better yet is that she talks of her more intimate relations with Santa. A priceless gem for women who enjoy humorous reading. Even though she may not be a real woman nor Santa a man, the humor for women in this is excellent. If she were a real woman, I believe many women would look up to her as a role model and also a feminist leader.

Don't get me wrong, she is not a rough woman, she however certainly does enjoy a little role play every once in a while. She thinks that it helps her spice up her relationship with her husband in bed. Then again, if they were real, they would need some variety: they would have been together for an extremely long time. So some role play may occasionally be very fun. By being observant and making notes of daily occurrences, we can find lots of material for our stories. For example, if you are doing presentations on customer service, you encounter examples of good, bad, and, hopefully, superior customer service on a regular basis. Our own lives and experiences offer a wealth of stories. Just remember, that the audience will enjoy hearing about your struggles and failures more than your successes.

For a story to be successful, the plot starts with a status quo, moves into the crisis, and following the climax, nothing is ever the same again. A story provides the perfect venue for making a point, imparting a life message, or teaching a lesson. Comedian Rodney Dangerfield was best known for his self-deprecating humor in his stand up acts, with his famous line "I get no respect." Watch modern-day self-deprecator, Conan O'Brien, as an example of how to make fun of yourself. Conan frequently makes fun of his own hair, his paleness and even his jokes that flop. Tell funny, self-deprecating stories about yourself. People love stories. Another techniques is to have a conversation piece as part of your attire-a piece of jewelry with an interesting back-story, for example. You do the kindness of allowing someone to notice something to talk about and then you can tell the interesting and hopefully humorous story behind the item.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Funny Stories Make People Laugh In Any Situation

There are not a lot of obvious paying markets for your work, and those that there are out there can sometimes be very picky indeed, only accepting and paying for very specific types of story. But don't despair, it is still very possible to get paid for your short fiction, possibly even to make a modest living from it, and you can also use this medium very effectively to help establish a name for yourself as a writer so that you can be more successful with your other work. For example, you can use a witty quote from a hilarious comedy on TV or a famous line from a movie. Those who recognize the reference will appreciate it since it is familiar to them; those who have not heard the quote before will still find the quote amusing. In fact, they may actually think you are quite inventive and full of wit. Memorize and keep an arsenal of good quotes so that you can bring them out when the occasion arrives. All you have to do is go to Google.com and type in "funny stories". You will instantly be presented with great, very entertaining, and sometimes even extremely smart comedy that will cause you to laugh so hard that you will not be able to stop.

The ability to tell a good story is an essential skill to learn -- stories are such a common part of everyday life. If you're like most people, perhaps you've wished that being funny could be effortless and that telling memorable, funny stories could be natural. Perhaps you've envied those who can command a listener's attention at will? The good news is that the ability to tell good, funny stories is a skill that improves with practice. Try the following three tips and you'll be on the road to telling humorous stories! One major reason is because of the enthusiasm he or she conveys. Enthusiasm is linked very closely with confidence. As you are enthusiastic while you tell a story, others will naturally become more engaged with what you say. Try to consciously add enthusiasm to what you say and see what results you get!

The same principle applies for when you tell a joke. When you deliver a story, simply end with a smile and allow your listener to laugh or respond appropriately. If you tell a story that turns out to be less funny than you hope, it's okay because it won't feel like a failed attempt to elicit laughter. Not laughing at your own stories allows you to tell as many stories as you want without worrying about looking foolish. Life is not necessarily a funny comedy. In fact, for some people is extremely difficult to live a life that will be beneficial or fruitful for them. Fortunately, most of us can help them, but in order for that to really take place, what needs to happen is we need to be able to really relax, and help ourselves first. The truth actually is that there is some humor in everything around you. If you are able to notice that humor, if you are able to really utilize the power of laughter in your life, you will not only be happy, you will also make those around you very happy.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Classic Story Of The Little Red Riding Hood

The Classic story of the Little Red Riding Hood has been told in countless ways. From 1922 to 1960s the story has been retold to children in different versions. Aside from the story book versions, Walt Disney's Little Red Riding Hood and The Big Bad Wolf animated movie was launched. It was one of the earliest cartoon movies of Disney's. Now, 2011, a new era of Little Red Riding Hood will surely erupt. With Warner Brothers planning to make another version of the classic story, the Hooded Girl will again rock the dance floor this Halloween. For sure, versions of Adult Red Riding Hood will be on the racks this coming holiday. Some of which will probably be Sexy Red Riding Hood Dresses.

When Little Red Riding Hood set out into the woods on that warm spring day in about 1321 or so, little did she know that she was to encounter not only the Big Bad Wolf, but a sales funnel so irresistible she would fall for it like a kitten for a saucer of milk. Little Red's intention was only to bring some warm currant buns to her dear old granny, but as soon as she set her foot on the path into the forest that day, she found herself walking straight into the mouth of a sales funnel. "What a lovely red hood you have on," said the Big Bad Wolf. "Why thank you," said Little Red, thus responding with interest and beginning her first step into the slippery slope of Wolfie's steep and irresistible sales funnel. Next, the Wolf intensified Little Red's interest by asking her even more about herself: "And where might you be going this fine spring day, my pretty?" And, as you might expect, Little Red stepped a little further into his sales funnel by answering him with information he could use: "Why, to my dear Granny's house, to bring her these warm currant buns."

The wolf sniffed appreciatively at the basket, and proceeded to do a little more "market research" on Little Red (they didn't have agencies to do this kind of thing back then). "Those are lovely smelling buns. And where might Dear Granny live?" To which, of course, Little Red replied with the desired information, thus stepping further into the sales funnel by inviting future communication with the wolf. The difference of this year's movie compared to 2008 version is the promise of a romantic twist to the story. It is something to look up to. We do not know how they would include that spice but all we know for now is that it is trying to capture the Twilight fans with the starting move of hiring its director. You may know how this part of the story goes, but what you may not know is how obviously it follows the pattern of a great sales funnel, so I will recount it for you here with a little sales funnel commentary on the side. Then, he proceeded to elicit empathy and even ask for her help (a sly twist that you can add to make your funnel even more irresistible). "I'm not feeling well dear, won't you come over and fluff the pillows for me?"

Friday, December 2, 2011

Funny Story: Large Pocket And Small Pocket

Wang Lin for almost three years old, the poor family not to marry the daughter. Wang Lin, the same age in the village and have been married to guy, and have a child. Whenever I see people in the child leaping in the village to play, one thinks of his son not to marry on a fast thirty-law, felt very uncomfortable! Marriage to his son to live a long anxious night of imported old son can not sleep, when I thought to give her son to marry a wife back home. Worry ah! If the wife to marry his son, the father thought, that is dead can close your eyes. This would also like her mother, in the village some big joke, she said her son had not married her daughter under the old two imports can not hack it, I believe this evil, near to a matchmaker to find dozens of things I did not have done to make my son to wife did not explain in the vicinity, then I go away tomorrow, my children, said a matchmaker to find a wife. Kung Fu is not really non-righteously. Day, her mother is kang Wang Lin to his son pull soles, Suddenly someone called her: "Wang Mah home?"

Mama put shoes on the kang Wang Lin side Xiakang side promised. See her come out of the house to go far to find her that day to see the first female matchmaker matchmaker, matchmaker pleased to lead the woman to the house, said: "She Zhang Yi sit down first break for a while, I'll give you pour." Wang Lin mother poured some water cup boiling water, then put some sugar with a spoon to stir a few on the bottom front of a matchmaker. Zhang matchmaker said: "I give your son a real bite wife, her name is Min, two years younger than your son this year was 26. Who long to almost, that is not clothes. Just do engage in cooking I put your home to explain the situation to her parents, others agree. I have come home to your son that your wife, Wang Mah you listen to this truth is not ready? " Dr. Lin Wang pleased replied: "I heard like, I like to listen to as long as cooking, clothes will not do it does not matter, since I have children to make clothes." Zhang matchmaker see the marriage became very happy, said: "You two agree, then look at first marriage set a good day." Wang said Dr. Lin agrees: "It's to do, etc. I put my old man back to tell him something, called him to ask where Mr. Nishimura yin and yang, good day to be a marriage." Although Wang Minzhe not do clothes, since married to the father, and Wang Lin, her mother is still very filial daughter love this old couple. Young couple is also very harmonious, married six years, Wang Minsheng four children, two men and two women. Children to clothes thanks to two old mother to do. As more children clothes bear weight, Wang Lin had to go out to do business to make money to feed their families with the uncle.

Both the elderly alive, children do not lack clothes. However, both the elderly eleven departure, combined with Wang Lin to do business with two or three years out uncle came back to lie down at home. Sons and daughters not to wear clothes, which can be difficult to live up to the Min? Have the money to buy clothes that do business with her husband out to make money is not easy, I can not squandering it! After much deliberation Min decided to do their own market to buy some cloth. The next morning, Wang went to sleep by the children market to buy back the cloth, she would not sew sewing clothes by size, four bags of imports. The kids wake up, Wang told they got into the pockets of their imports, not sensible to think that drilling children on fun in bags of imported toilet outside all day in addition to not come out easily.
Day, Wang Lin came back just entered the room from the outside, toward the wife on the kang shout: "Big bags of imported small pockets, give you great dad roll out. Sons and daughters to hear your mother cry, a pocket drilled from imports. Wang Lin saw this scene both angry and funny, complaining wife said: "I do not give money to take along your back? How the children do not buy clothes."