Be thankful the next time you open up a fortune cookie that doesn’t have a fortune as strange –or hilarious - as these:
Confucius say you have heart as big as Texas.
You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly.
Because of your melodic nature, the moonlight never misses an appointment.
You will gain admiration from your pears.
You will receive a fortune cookie.
Never wear your best pants when you go to fight for freedom.
A starship ride has been promised to you by the galactic wizard.
You love Chinese food.
Someone will invite you to a Karaoke party.
Don't behave with cold manners.
Help! I am being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery.
Don't forget you are always on our minds.
What you left behind is more mellow than wine.
There is no mistake so great as that of being always right.
Never forget a friend. Especially if he owes you.
A tub and a rub will change your day.
THAT WASN'T CHICKEN.
Suppose you can get what you want.
If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it, if you're happy and you know it, eat a monkey.
It's about time I got out of that cookie.
The greatest danger could be your stupidity.
Eat your vegetable and you'll grow up big and strong like Popeye.
To lower your stress level, get a cat.
Your present plants are going to succeed.
A nice cake is waiting for you.
You may love the small ones but win the big ones.
An alien of some sort will be appearing to you shortly.
Life is not a struggle. It's a wiggle.
Sssorrryyy, duuplleexxx swwwitccch ooonnn…
A smile is your personal welcome mat.
You are not illiterate.
The rubber bands are heading in the right direction.
Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.
You never know who you touch.
Do not follow the instructions of this fortune.
Your emotional nature is strong and emotional.
Your eyes will soon be sparking, keep them open.
Now is the time to make circles with mints, do not haste any longer.
A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition. Don't touch that.
Behind an able man, there are always.
You will soon be more aware of your growing awareness.
You may attend a party where strange customs prevail.
Someone can read your mind.
Magic time is created when unconventional person comes.
You are going to have some new clothes.
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